NERDS ARE THE NEW BULLIES

Arg

by Jay Whitecotton

I’m of the last generation that still has an inner Bully screaming inside its conscience. A harsh voice that creeps up anytime I think a thought that doesn’t agree with the mentality of the late 80’s, early 90’s era.

It happens when I put on a scarf: The word “faggot” pops into my head, as if keeping my neck fashionably warm were a crime against my sexuality. I’ll tell a girl I don’t possess the ability to drive stick, and hear “pussy” slowly chant its way to the forefront of my psyche.

‘NERD!’ is being yelled at me right now as I finish this very sentence. It’s pathetic, dumb, and a ghost of a time when that mentality flourished.

Often I have fantasized about what it would be like for that blonde douche from those 80’s movies, if he were somehow teleported to today’s Portland. Bewildered on a busy street, giggling at lesbians holding hands, black skateboarding Trekkies, and purse wearing men.

He laughs a solid hour, but eventually crumbles in sadness when society mocks his outdated mentality and women shun him for geek sheik folk artists. (NO ONE TELL HIM THERE’S A BLACK PRESIDENT).

What we haven’t realized yet (and what Billy Zabka already knew) is that being a Nerd doesn’t mean you’re automatically a good person. If you ever watched the ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ movies, you assume the underdog Tri Lambdas are the good guys. (While completely ignoring the fact that one dons a mask and rapes a girl who’s too drunk to tell he’s not her boyfriend)

Continue reading

Advertisements