Too Soon? Or Einstein’s Theory of Relative Coward Pussy

Too Soon

by Jay Whitecotton Edited by Al Bahmani

No one here is a good person.

No one here is without some sort of hypocrisy. Faster and faster we are going down the rabbit hole of social outrage – it’s just that in this case – the rabbit hole is up our own collective asses.

There is no such thing as ‘too soon’. No amount of time can lessen your emotional reaction.

Especially if you’re the supremely empathic pronoun you insufferably insist to be.

There is no ‘Comedy Clock’. No universal unit of ‘Joke Time’. Humor and the concept of ‘Too Soon’ doesn’t operate on Einstein’s Theory of Relative Coward Pussy.

Check my privilege? Check your hypocrisy.

Especially people mad at jokes considered “too soon” and in “poor taste” – who were JUST celebrating Charlie Hebdo as “courageous” months ago.

And also you – the people pissing on the French flag filter as “bullshit because the company didn’t manufacture the feelz over Beirut, Syria, Africa or any other country that didn’t send us a Statue honoring Liberty or supplied an army and resources during our own revolution…” Yes, fuck you people too.

Our obsession with identity politics has painted us in different corners of the same house, unable to communicate more than shrieking at each other across the dripping pool and stink of social media.

Yes – most of these people’s attempts at humor are an absolute atrocity. No one is defending their ‘quality’.

But shouldn’t you be defending their right to be said? Or did you already forget your saccharine ‘Veteran’s Day’ shout outs from just a few days ago.

For the record – I think these jokes are in bad taste too.

I also think your ability to point out how bodies blown up in the name of Islam isn’t actually Islam – it’s radical Islam – then immediately posting videos of shitty cops abusing their power with your own headline “FUCK ALL COPS! SHOOT THEM ALL!”

Is just as much in poor taste as these jokes.

Either way, so what? Facebook likes and shares don’t equate change or value. Even this post I write knowing it will be forgotten in a week or dismissed as TL/DR (because what’s the value of reading, right?!).

Maybe you should try getting your hands dirty. Do something about it for once. Stand up and follow through on your convictions.

You know – like Isis.

Bloodthirsty extremist cunts that they are – they definitely posses some follow through.

What are you doing, judging shitty jokes?!

Well at least Comedians do it through jokes. Our bombs are only self inflicted and you can easily unfollow their explosions.

Keep in mind for every ten to a thousand bombs, someone writes the perfect joke – and that’s worth suffering some bad taste for, isn’t it?

Maybe we can try to all just live our lives and stop stepping over our own feet to be publicly ‘right’. Maybe we can allow ourselves a few wrongs in an effort to do some actual growth.

Maybe we can try leading ourselves first before amassing some retarded Twitter army pushing an agenda of insubstantial change.

Maybe there’s both a way to respond to violence with peace and kindness, while also recognizing some cunts need to be drone bombed to whatever hell they’re willing to believe in.

Maybe we can accept and celebrate bad tasteless humor for what it is, while not ignoring the disadvantaged and underprivileged living in our own back yards.

Maybe it’s ok to not give a shit about the Sudan and worry about the rent or the final score of some sports game or whatever.

Maybe we can have our freedom and eat it too? I don’t know. I’m still growing and striving to make new mistakes.

That all said – here’s the box score for Friday the 13th’s Soccer Match.

France – 2
Germany – 0
Isis – 129 and counting…

Viva le France!

Jay Whitecotton is a Stand Up Comedian from San Antonio, TX now living in Austin. He’s written columns for magazines without any journalistic credibility – toured professionally as a guitarist, despite no lessons – and sold a script that was never made into a movie… – He likes dragons

Originally posted with permission of Jay.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s